(Last Updated On: June 28, 2018)

We all want to know how to get better, feel sexy, and confident while we pole dance regardless of the reason be it fitness or stripping.  We all want to feel good about ourselves, especially when we are pole fitness dancing for exercise regardless of our weight.  It really does suck to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and listen to all the chatter upstairs in our brain about how bad our body looks.  This same chatter can resurface in pole dancing class as well because you are dancing in front of mirrors.

What good does all that chatter do?  Does it really help you to think bad things about your body – even if there is room for improvement?

No, it doesn’t.

Subconsciously, many people think that by reminding themselves about what needs to be fixed on their body (like fat thighs or belly fat) will motivate them to actually fix the problem.  This is a huge misconception.  

Beating yourself up mentally about how ugly you do not motivate you.  Think about it, if that were true, wouldn’t you have changed that thing you hate so bad by now?

So the first step is to recognize that the negativity you mentally think about your body is not helping you, in fact, it is hurting you. 

You can’t get better at pole dancing or know how to feel sexy if your mind is filled with negative thoughts about yourself.

A good example of this concept is a closet completely full of old clothes.  If you wish to wear a new style and change your wardrobe then you must first throw out some, if not all, of your old clothes before there is room for the new clothes.  Thoughts are the same.

So how do you get rid of old thoughts and learn to chill out?

Here are some tips for beginners and more advanced level pole dancers:

Tip #1 – Get Better At Pole Dancing By Learning To FEEL Better About Yourself

Practice loving yourself.  Thank yourself.     REGARDLESS of how you look.  Recognize that you deserve love no matter what you look like.   Every time you start to think a negative thought, catch yourself and simply say “I choose not to judge myself today” and think of a more positive thought.

Catching all of your negative thoughts can become overwhelming so don’t necessarily focus on what you are thinking all day but rather focus on how you feel.  If you are feeling bad about yourself, then let go of the bad feelings as best you can.  Remind yourself that it is not helping you to think that way and that you deserve love no matter what.  You don’t have to be perfect or do things right all the time to deserve love, it’s yours regardless.

Tip #2 – Let Go Of The Crap To Get Better At Pole Dancing

One great tip to let go of negative emotions about your body is to allow the emotion to be with you.  Just take a moment and sit with it.  Allow it to be a part of your experience, don’t judge it as good or bad, but rather just allow it to be part of your experience.  Move into the feeling rather than rejecting it.

Typically is you don’t REJECT or judge your negative thoughts but rather treat them like a crying child who has been misunderstood responding with compassion and love, then the BAD feelings can dissipates in 90 seconds or less.

I know this might sound a little qwacky but what have you got to lose?  Have rejecting and hating your bad emotions really got you anywhere so far?  Are you getting better at pole dancing because of it?   I bet no, so give this a try.

Tip 3 – Have Patience and Compassion For Your Progress

You have been rejecting your bad negative emotions and running from them your whole life.   Allowing yourself to let go mean you will have to face it.    Once you face it and let go, you are FREE and you WILL DANCE FREE TOO!!  I promise!

The letting go takes time, patience, and compassion with yourself.   If you are not used to letting go, then please allow yourself to experience and play with this new way of dealing with your emotions over the coming year.    Chances are you will notice immediate improvement when you pole dance, but it get even better so have patience and keep going with it.

Practicing loving your body is a first step to truly getting how to feel sexy, not getting the best dancers body that is toned and lean.  When you start pole fitness dancing in front of a mirror, those negative emotions may come up into your conscious mind.  If you practice loving yourself during the day, you will easily be able to deal with these emotions when you are pole fitness dancing.

The more you let go of negative emotions while you are pole fitness dancing, the more you can actually embody the feeling of being sexy and powerful.

There are woman with perfect dance technique, world champions, and people with perfect fitness bodies and they are not happy.   They honestly feel like they are not good enough and that they are not improving.    That’s because any level of “improvement” you gain has to be acknowledged in the mind first.   If you don’t know how to deal with your negative thoughts, you could have ALREADY got better at pole dancing and didn’t even notice it. 

Summary for this article: Let go of the bad thoughts and feeling about your body so you can make room to finally feel good about yourself. 

Feeling sexy is a mindset, not something that is achieved by having the best looking body on the planet.  Pole dancing will naturally help you deal with these emotions and get you on the path to truly feeling sexy and confident.


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